The Bishops, The Luminaire, 16 September 2006

Why is there always a group of gangling giants half way to the front of the crowd at gigs? If you’re cheeky enough to squeeze past there’s often enough space to make some serious shapes in front of them.

This was certainly the case at The Luminaire on Saturday night where there were a good few metres to spare between the wall of onlookers and The Bishops.

The band were far from intimidating, twins Mike and Pete Bishop’s matching skinny black suits and mop-top hair cuts attracting cries of ‘John Lennon’ from confused Crimea fans waiting at the bar for the headliners. With wide eyes and toothy grins they looked more Prince William than John Lennon.

Their symbiotic relationship worked well as they played a tight set of snappy songs, heavily influenced by sixties bands particularly the Who and the Kinks.

They were let down a couple of times by their long haired nautical top wearing drummer Chris McConville who looked like he’d turned up on the wrong night to play with a Ramones tribute band.

Lead vocalist Mike seemed nervous when talking to the crowd but was exuberant when playing guitar, shaking his head more than Axel Rose in the shower with a new bottle of Timotei.

They gained confidence throughout their set, their new single ‘Higher Now’ proving popular and finally encouraging some of the 20-something trendies to make show best mod dance moves in all that space.

For their finale of ‘She Said Bye Bye’, Pete slid onto his knees and Mike jumped off the stage to play guitar in the crowd - all very choreographed but quite amusing.

The Bishops won’t revolutionise the music scene- their idols did that forty years ago. They’re unlikely to lead a mod revival but they will remain an entertaining act to watch on the small gig circuit.

UK Air Guitar Championships, Islington Academy, 1 September 2006

Wild Thing 37 tuned his guitar dexterously with worn black varnished nails. The 18 year-old’s gaze seemed unnaturally aged and menacing.

Quite the showman, wearing pink florescent sweatband, gloves and tights, he ebulliently revolved his arm to strum as he slid onto his knees to cover the powerful guitar-riff led Muse track Invincible. He collapsed with exhaustion onto the stage floor at the climax of the song.

His striking performance conjured up memories of Spinal Tap, except for the fact he had no pedals, effects, backing members, amp, or in fact guitar.

He was one of twenty plus air guitarists battling it out at the UK Air Guitar Championships which were held at the Carling Islington Academy.

For decades many of the UK’s finest air guitarists have reserved their performances for alcohol-fuelled late night indie discos stretching the country.

This is the first year a UK winner will be sent to represent their country at the Air Guitar World Championships in Finland.

The judging panel, which included retired two times world champion Zac ‘Magnet’ Monroe, assessed the competitors based upon criteria including originality, stage charisma, technical ability and airiness.

Following two gruelling rounds, Wild Thing 37 was one of three finalists who had to spontaneously play air guitar to an unprepared track.

An Arctic Monkeys song was chosen and Wild Thing 37 recognised it instantly, singing along to the words and kicking the air just to warm up.

Count Rockula, the first finalist to perform, entered the stage exuding gusto as he high-fived his supporters. Beneath his black robe, he sported lycra cycling shorts and vest with chest hair clearly on display.

But despite a vigorous stage performance, he seemed to forget that he was meant to be pretending to play the guitar.

The handle bar moustached Hoxton Reaper was second up, donning white linen trousers and vest. He was eulogised by newly found screaming female fans at the front of the crowd.

Performing with confidence, he confirmed to the judges that he actually knew how to play a real guitar.

Wild Thing 37’s performance was filled with vehemence. He certainly believed in the music but could have connected better with the crowd. He was narrowly defeated by the Reaper, who was dragged into the crowd preceding a stage invasion.

So did the chintzy contestants deserve centre stage or were they an insult to artists who have spent years perfecting guitar prowess? Well, the tumultuous crowd seemed to be in full support and thousands of pounds were raised for the Teenage Cancer Trust.